On a health journey, healing your relationship with food will benefit you more than avoiding it. When you avoid food that has power over you, you are handing over control to those foods. It may sound corny, but you have to take your power back. It will be a long process, but it’s worth it. Health journeys are lifelong, so you have the time.

       What is the rush? If you feel the need to rush on your health journey, it’s likely from poor intentions. Health and healing-based motivations usually allow for a natural-paced mindset. When your goals are superficial, you may want to rush your results. Your focus is on a shallow result rather than healing and changing for the betterment of your health. When you don’t take the time to heal and improve the habits that lead to poor health, you will regain weight when you return to those habits. Extreme restrictions can help people lose weight quickly, but the underlying behaviors that lead to weight gain remain.

       It is necessary to decenter the opinions of others in your life and on a health journey. You can feel the hurt from it. It is natural, but you cannot let them have too much power over your health and happiness. When you make lifestyle changes, make them because you love yourself and want to treat yourself better. Do not make lifestyle changes in an attempt to gain approval from others. It is impossible to meet everyone’s expectations, so focus on yours. You cannot control others’ perceptions, but you can control yours. Attempting to make everyone happy is a lost cause, but making yourself happier is possible. Forget about the negative people in the world, and be a positive person in your world.

       On your health journey, I want you to be cognizant of the cycle of your thoughts, actions, and feelings. We have to challenge these negative cycles and turn them into positive ones. Remember, your thoughts influence your actions, and feelings develop from those actions. Those feelings further feed your thoughts, and the cycle continues. If you think negatively about yourself, it’s less likely you will take positive actions regarding your health.

        It is easy to obsess with constant progress on a health journey. Nothing feels better than reaching new low weights, wearing smaller clothes, or running further than before. As soon as you achieve some success, you want more. The reality is that you will not lose weight or perform better every day. Some days, especially after outperforming myself, I’m tired and need rest. Success doesn’t come daily. It comes when you are dedicated and consistent. As long as you continue to push forward, you will progress. You may not see that progress every day, but it is there. I may not be able to run far every day, but walking or a short run is still exercise and still progress. You must challenge your fears of reverting; they’re unnecessary. Trust the process and keep fighting. You will be successful.

       You do not have to give up eating the foods you love to lose weight and be healthier. Focus on finding a healthy balance. This process usually involves making small changes you later build upon and finding alternatives. First off, start smaller and be realistic. It is difficult to change lifelong habits, so take your time. It is unrealistic to go from a “My 600Lb Life” diet to a “Victoria’s Secret model” diet overnight. Secondly, find alternatives to help make your favorite meals healthier. For example, when I eat at Raisin Canes, I order the Kid’s meal because the portions are smaller. I consume fewer calories, and I can enjoy the same foods I like. My mom’s order is a regular meal. But instead of ordering fries, she gets a second portion of cole slaw. It is simple changes like these that will help you improve your diet without suffering from too much restriction. These changes are easier to maintain long-term and build upon. Remember, you don’t have to suffer to be healthier. If you take on too much too soon, you may give up and overeat. It is better to make small changes first than to make no changes at all. You do not need to be perfect to make improvements in your health. In the end, it is consistency, not perfection, that yields results.

        What are your weaknesses? What brings you comfort? Have your coping skills become your bane? We need things in this life that bring us comfort. We need things to put our faith in and give us hope when we are too weak and hopeless. However, when unchecked, the things that bring us relief can also cause us distress. 

       Nearly eleven years ago, I underwent gastric bypass surgery. In the two years that followed, I lost one hundred fifty pounds. Life does what it does, and in the rough few years after that weight loss, I maintained unhealthy coping skills that led to a sixty-pound weight regain. I am not here to make excuses; this is a cautionary tale. Whether you get bariatric surgery or on the ever-popular weight loss shots, weight loss is no miracle. 

       No one deserves to be isolated from human connection or to suffer in silence. Our society holds men to unrealistic and inhuman standards. Men reject vulnerability and the expression of human emotions due to unnatural societal relations to feminity and weakness. Being vulnerable, asking for help, or expressing emotion is not feminine; it is human. Vulnerability is not weakness; it is strength. Imagine two warriors; one can only face their battles in a suit of armor, and the other warrior faces their battles naked, wholly vulnerable but confident in their strength and ability to overcome anything. If you need to shield your vulnerabilities, you are not as strong as you may think. Do not run from your emotions. If another person shames you for your vulnerability or expression of emotion, know it is a projection of their fears. Being vulnerable and asking for help opens you up for human connection, which is needed. You cannot and should not hold all your pain inside, alone. It is time we let unnatural societal expectations go for the sake of men’s health.

        Developing rewarding routines on your health journey will benefit you greatly. Creating diet and exercise routines will help you stay consistent. You cannot rely on your enthusiasm because it will wane. When it does, you can depend on your deep motivations and routines to pull you through. Ensure those routines are rewarding and pleasurable. I don’t enjoy waking up at 6 am to clean and work out, but I like resting in my clean room afterward. I like how I feel after I take care of my responsibilities. Your body needs physical activity as much as it needs to live in a clean environment. I prefer to get stuff done in the mornings, so I have the rest of the day to feel accomplished and relaxed.  

       On a health journey, you encounter many things that will challenge you. One of those challenges for me was menstruation. If you’re a person who menstruates, understanding your cycle will benefit you. I have learned my cycle affects my mood, hunger, energy, and more. All of those have an impact on my health journey. Twelve or ten days before my period, my appetite increases, and I experience more food cravings. I also have less energy and feel more bloated. Due to these pre-menstrual symptoms, my activity level dips, and I consume more calories. I allow myself to eat and rest more without going overboard. I focus on keeping my lifestyle balanced. 

       It is easy to feel powerless against our vices. A necessary part of health journeys is taking back our power. It may sound cringy to say, but I mean it. You must reclaim your power. You are so much stronger than you know. You’re not weak or doomed to fail when you stumble. Learn from these missteps to become stronger.